A thick fog that I once knew well
has decided it would return
to where it once dwelled.
Haze envelops and encompasses
old memories and current thoughts
clouding my perspective and hindering
my best judgement.
Over a year ago now my mind was clear,
last October. 2014 was the year,
The blinding billowing clouds
that provided shade to my soul
were blown away by a change.
A whole new me,
Unrecognizable but by name.
The Change came on slow.
It came as drops of water from
a ceiling, and I the bucket underneath
collecting little droplets
that began to alter me.
And by February I was nearly full
A different bucket than from before.
I could barely recognize the person
standing in front of the mirror.
For better or for worse
my mind was now far clearer.
The mist that muddled my mind
no longer cushioned my
ego, emotion, and essence.
I had for the first time in a long time
become vulnerable and open.
I allowed people in
and no longer felt so broken.
But it was only a matter of time before
eagerness and excitement faded away
into anxiety, at least not today.
In June with the sun shining hot,
a sweltering woman entered my life,
sitting here now, I wish she had not.
She burned away flesh and muscle
exposing my bones and soul.
And she embraced my shambling body
before she let me go.
Now all these months later
that pile of bones has slowly reassembled
and it resembles that man who encountered
all that scary change so rapidly.
But unfortunately, his mind has been infested.
A fog has taken over
and returns him to his slumber.