Courage

If I had the courage to step into the night

I would have seen the stars long ago.

This flickering lamp has lost its will to fight

And now its light speaks to me in Morse code.

To say I could decipher its message would be a lie.

At best I can guess its intent as I wait for it to die.

 

The truth is, I am a terrible coward.

A sinner of vast proportions who painted himself a saint.

Walled off in a lonely tower of my design.

“Why did they leave me here?” Is now my constant complaint.

Now I dwell only on these stars

Who in my sleep request to hear my memoirs.

 

But I am still afraid

To step past the line

and into the fade

I tell myself that I will be fine

But in this tower I will deteriorate

Until my memories no longer hold this weight.

Strange Awakening

I went to bed yesterday a child,

And today awoke a man.

My surprise was far from mild.

My childhood took one look ahead and ran

Because this adulthood is scary.

It has frightened my innocence away .

The adolescent thoughts that made me merry

Were replaced with repetitious thoughts of pain.

Waning is the vigor I once had

And I’m not trying to say it’s all bad

I just remember what it was like before I was sad

And I really wish that I could go back.

 

If I Ever Grew Tired

Looking back its hard to imagine

spending my time with anyone else.

We stopped just short of becoming tragic,

and now I have to learn to be by myself.

I know this is the best for the both of us.

So here we are, separate,

And here I am, desperate.

I thought that after all this time

That you would have faded from my mind.

I can no longer resist your mental intrusions

Because for just a moment it brings back the illusion.

I expected to grow tired of these notions

But eons have passed and still I feel broken.

I miss you a lot,

and not a day goes by

where you are not in my thoughts.

You were the glimmer in my eye.