Feigning Ignorance

Without hesitation he walked away
Continuing on with his day
Acting as if he had not just seen,
An act of nature so obscene .

Those who saw the heinous act
Stared in awe as he turned his back.
But was it because he did not care?
Was there a reason he did not stare?

As others watched, he pressed on through.
He knew that he had things to do.
As they watched, and has he left
The scene continued to be grotesque.

Feigning ignorance
Was his deliverance.

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No More Sleep

Within the sanctuary walls
the people were sleeping soundly.
And every time the sun did fall
No more worries in their county.

Until one day
the peace had broke,
and the people
were awoken.

Now all their dreams
were distant gleams
of a time that
was once hopeful.

Courage

If I had the courage to step into the night

I would have seen the stars long ago.

This flickering lamp has lost its will to fight

And now its light speaks to me in Morse code.

To say I could decipher its message would be a lie.

At best I can guess its intent as I wait to die.

 

The truth is, I am a terrible coward.

A sinner of vast proportions who painted himself a saint.

Walled off in a lonely tower of my design.

“Why did they leave me here?” Is now my constant complaint.

Now I dwell only on these stars

Who in my sleep request to hear my memoirs.

 

But I am still afraid

To step past the line

and into the fade.

I tell myself that I will be fine

But in this tower I will deteriorate

Until my memories no longer hold this weight.

The Respite is Over

 

A thick fog that I once knew well

has decided it would return

to where it once dwelled.

Haze envelops and encompasses

old memories and current thoughts

clouding my perspective and hindering

my best judgement.

 

Over a year ago now my mind was clear,

last October. 2014 was the year,

The blinding billowing clouds

that provided shade to my soul

were blown away by a change.

A whole new me,

Unrecognizable but by name.

 

The Change came on slow.

It came as drops of water from

a ceiling, and I the bucket underneath

collecting little droplets

that began to alter me.

And by February I was nearly full

A different bucket than from before.

 

I could barely recognize the person

standing in front of the mirror.

For better or for worse

my mind was now far clearer.

The mist that muddled my mind

no longer cushioned my

ego, emotion, and essence.

 

I had for the first time in a long time

become vulnerable and open.

I allowed people in

and no longer felt so broken.

But it was only a matter of time before

eagerness and excitement faded away

into anxiety, at least not today.

 

In June with the sun shining hot,

a sweltering woman entered my life,

sitting here now, I wish she had not.

She burned away flesh and muscle

exposing my bones and soul.

And she embraced my shambling body

before she let me go.

 

Now all these months later

that pile of bones has slowly reassembled

and it resembles that man who encountered

all that scary change so rapidly.

But unfortunately, his mind has been infested.

A fog has taken over

and returns him to his slumber.

 

Strange Awakening

I went to bed yesterday a child,

And today awoke a man.

My surprise was far from mild.

My childhood took one look ahead and ran

Because this adulthood is scary.

It has frightened my innocence away .

The adolescent thoughts that made me merry

Were replaced with repetitious thoughts of pain.

Waning is the vigor I once had

And I’m not trying to say it’s all bad

I just remember what it was like before I was sad

And I really wish that I could go back.

 

If I Ever Grew Tired

Looking back its hard to imagine

spending my time with anyone else.

We stopped just short of becoming tragic,

and now I have to learn to be by myself.

I know this is the best for the both of us.

So here we are, separate,

And here I am, desperate.

I thought that after all this time

That you would have faded from my mind.

I can no longer resist your mental intrusions

They pull me back into the illusion.

I expected to grow tired of these notions

But eons have passed and still I feel broken.

I miss you a lot,

and not a day goes by

where you are not in my thoughts.

You were the glimmer in my eye.

Get Over It

Easier said than done

Considering how far we’ve come.

You snuck up from behind

And swept me off my feet.

Now nightly in my mind

I rewind

to when things between us weren’t so bleak.

When you would see my face and smile

While I did just the same.

The joy I felt hearing your name

has turned into regret and pain.

And I bet,

that weeks from now,

maybe even months,

or years

I’ll remember your face

and be brought to tears.

 

If someone told me I could forget it all,

Without hesitation, I would heed their call.

Rather than crash into the looming wall

of misery and pain that plaques me

when thoughts of you enter my brain.

Your love left a stain darling

when you flew off like a starling.

 

Just a Piece

I am a puzzle piece.

Born to fit with those like me

to form a masterpiece.

While young we accept this serenity,

But maturation brings separation.

Those who fit into our very being

don’t connect like they once did.

In desperation we fight this feeling,

To no avail, the puzzle is broken.

Stray pieces hope to find another

Place where they can fit.

But what most desire they will not get.

Only the lucky ones find some pieces

that fit better then they did before.