Without hesitation he walked away
Continuing on with his day
Acting as if he had not just seen,
An act of nature so obscene .
Those who saw the heinous act
Stared in awe as he turned his back.
But was it because he did not care?
Was there a reason he did not stare?
As others watched, he pressed on through.
He knew that he had things to do.
As they watched, and has he left
The scene continued to be grotesque.
Was his deliverance.
Within the sanctuary walls
the people were sleeping soundly.
And every time the sun did fall
No more worries in their county.
Until one day
the peace had broke,
and the people
Now all their dreams
were distant gleams
of a time that
was once hopeful.
It lives in the tiniest
of spaces in my mind.
The gnawing notion
I cannot leave behind.
Wedged deep within
caught in the crevice
it reminds me
of my mistakes.
To shake it loose
would be no use.
It has found its place.
How can you repent sins that you are ignorant of?
Ignorance of sins committed from joy and love.
To the devout and saintly, these transgressions are plain as day,
But those surrounded by heathens will not have that much to say.
Some sinners convince others of their grace and virtuousness,
Those who believe these words stay content, because ignorance is bliss.
To those who wake from their blissful dreams
whose reality starts to tear apart at the seams.
As they look back at the aftermath
Of all the hurt that has because of them amassed
A shock will run down their spine
A shock that doesn’t go away with time.
To live in blissful ignorance
or a catatonic indifference
To live absentminded of the horror
or knowingly in Sodom and Gomorrah.
If I had the courage to step into the night
I would have seen the stars long ago.
This flickering lamp has lost its will to fight
And now its light speaks to me in Morse code.
To say I could decipher its message would be a lie.
At best I can guess its intent as I wait for it to die.
The truth is, I am a terrible coward.
A sinner of vast proportions who painted himself a saint.
Walled off in a lonely tower of my design.
“Why did they leave me here?” Is now my constant complaint.
Now I dwell only on these stars
Who in my sleep request to hear my memoirs.
But I am still afraid
To step past the line
and into the fade
I tell myself that I will be fine
But in this tower I will deteriorate
Until my memories no longer hold this weight.
Easier said than done
Considering how far we’ve come.
You snuck up from behind
And swept me off my feet.
Now nightly in my mind I rewind
to when things between us weren’t so bleak.
When you would see my face and smile
While I did just the same.
The joy I felt when I heard your name
has turned into pain and regret.
And I bet, that weeks from now,
maybe even months, or years
I’ll remember your face
and be brought to tears.
If someone told me I could forget it all,
Without hesitation, I would heed their call.
Rather than crash into the looming wall
of misery and pain that plaques me
when thoughts of you enter my brain.
Your love left a stain darling
when you flew off like a starling.